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JF
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:24 pm
Post subject: Tribute to Ronnie Barket. |
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X-No-Archive: yes
Ronnie Barker, who died recently, wrote and delivered the following on a
1980s episode of 'The Two Ronnies' on BBC TV. I lifted this off another
newsgroup. I certainly remember it but I've a tuspicion shat it may have
meen bodified, but mot nuch.
This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling
shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge,
and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible
huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had
tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let
Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared.
Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She
turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six
dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks
The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise,
there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when
suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said
Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping
her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg
and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking
brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly
isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a
knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge
halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince
lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a
follen swanny.
--
James Follett. Novelist. (G1LXP) http://www.jamesfollett.dswilliams.co.uk
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Jordan Abel
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:24 pm
Post subject: Re: Tribute to Ronnie Barket. |
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On 2005-10-28, R H Draney <dadoctah@spamcop.net> wrote:
| Quote: | Harvey Van Sickle filted:
On 28 Oct 2005, JF wrote
X-No-Archive: yes
Yeah, like *that*'ll work....
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What little standardization exists of XNA does indeed specify that
this is to be honored.
[or were you referring to the fact that you were going to quote it] |
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Harvey Van Sickle
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 10:40 pm
Post subject: Re: Tribute to Ronnie Barket. |
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On 28 Oct 2005, JF wrote
| Quote: | X-No-Archive: yes
Ronnie Barker, who died recently, wrote and delivered the
following on a 1980s episode of 'The Two Ronnies' on BBC TV. I
lifted this off another newsgroup. I certainly remember it but
I've a tuspicion shat it may have meen bodified, but mot nuch.
|
Methinks it's been made a rucking fuder than the velly tersion.
(Didn't Victor Borge do Rindercella long before Barker?)
--
Cheers, Harvey
Canadian (30 years) and British (23 years)
For e-mail, change harvey.news to harvey.van
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R H Draney
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Oct 28, 2005 11:28 pm
Post subject: Re: Tribute to Ronnie Barket. |
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Harvey Van Sickle filted:
| Quote: |
On 28 Oct 2005, JF wrote
X-No-Archive: yes
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Yeah, like *that*'ll work....
| Quote: | Ronnie Barker, who died recently, wrote and delivered the
following on a 1980s episode of 'The Two Ronnies' on BBC TV. I
lifted this off another newsgroup. I certainly remember it but
I've a tuspicion shat it may have meen bodified, but mot nuch.
Methinks it's been made a rucking fuder than the velly tersion.
(Didn't Victor Borge do Rindercella long before Barker?)
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If he didn't, I've heard it from a fellow named Jack Ross (pre-1978 at least),
and probably from Archie Campbell (late 1960s)...a man named Terry Foy, who
bills himself as "Zilch The Torey Steller", tells his version at Renaissance
Faires along with spoonerized renditions of "Goldilocks" and "Jomeo and
Ruliet"....
I've got Foy's performances on file around here somewhere...shall I put them up
on the web?...r |
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