Vocaboly.com

[Troy Steadman]

"Now forty c**ts and forty arses
If you can use your wits,
And if you're slick at arithmetic,
Makes exactly eighty tits.

Now eighty tits are a gladsome sight
For a man with a raging stand
It may be rare in Berkeley Square
But not on the Rio Grande..."

I can't imagine anyone has copyright on these masterpieces but they
don't seem to be widely available. This site has 30 free but you have
to pay to download the remainder.

http://www.rugbysongs.net/RugbySongs.htm

Doesn't seem to include this one which I've been trying to remember for
the best part of 30 years. Sung to a well-known Bach ditty:

"While the train is in the station
Please refrain from urination
Have respect for railway property,
But if you feel that you oughta
Kindly ask the nearest porter
Who'll direct you to the lavatory."

Something like that. Later Peter Pan is molested. Anyone know it?

[Joe Fineman]

If you go to www.mudcat.org and do a search on "bawdy" you will find
many versions of such songs, and much commentary.
--
--- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net

||: Solid-state physics is the physics of dirt effects. |

[R H Draney]

Troy Steadman filted:

[Linz]

[Troy Steadman]

Thanks for the link. One of their songs has this worst-ever dialect
rhyme:

"He's accompanied Oasis and Blur,
And done backing music for Cher"

[Prai Jei]

[Troy Steadman]

At the very minimum I would expect an mp3 link, preferably to a
Humoresque that is no longer flat.

[Harvey Van Sickle]

[Carmen L. Abruzzi]

Troy Steadman wrote:

[R H Draney]

[Pat Durkin]

Wasn't there some Slanders and Fwann ditty beginning with "Gentlemen will
please refrain. . ."?

Seems to me that it had to do with the oft seen and heard expression
involving smoking in theaters. Or was that expectorating?

[Paul Wolff]

They did sing The Lord Chamberlain's Regulations:

"The public may leave at the end of each performance
By all the exit doors,
And all such doors must at that time be open -
They gotta be open, they gotta be open ...
All gangways, passages and staircases
Must be kept entirely free
Of chaiiiiiiirs, and any other obstructions ..."

but I don't remember a smoking passage.
--
Paul
In bocca al Lupo!

[John Dean]

Ho Yus. It was all there:

Smoking is permitted in the Auditorium,
Smoking is permitted in the Auditorium,
So if you want to have a smoke and you've got the price,
Just light it up and puff away to paradise,
Because Smoking is permitted in the auditorium.

Smoking is permitted in the Auditorium,
Smoking is permitted in the Auditorium,
So if you want to have a smoke and you've got the price,
Just light it up and puff away to paradise,
Because Smoking is permitted in the auditorium.

DS: The safety curtain must be lowered in the presence of each audience.
MF: The safety curtain must be raised in the presence of each audience.
Both: The safety curtain must be lowered (raised) in the presence of
each audience.
The safety curtain must be lowered (raised) in the presence of each
audience.

The public may leave at the end of each performance by all the exit
doors,
The public may leave at the end of each performance by all the exit
doors,
All gangways, passages and staircases,
Must be kept entirely free,
Of chairs, or any other obstruction,
The public may leave at the end of each performance by all the exit
doors,
And all such doors must at that time be open.
They've gotta be open!
They've gotta be open!
--
John Dean
Oxford

[Pat Durkin]

Thank you. I do now recall that. Strange that I associate it with the
"Gentlemen will please refrain", though.

Well, knowing how my mind sidesteps logic and good memory trains, I suppose
it isn't really strange at all.

[pinecone]

Gentlemen will please refrain
from flushing toilets on the train
while passing through the station I love you

Little boys with gunny sacks
will pick it up from off the tracks
and take it home to Mother I love you


does anyone know more lyrics to this tune?

thanks, Pinecone