Vocaboly.com

[Reinhold (Rey) Aman]

THE HISTORY OF MANKIND
======================
The division of the human family into its two distinct branches occurred
some 10,000 years ago, when humans coexisted as members of small bands
of nomadic hunter/gatherers. In the pivotal event of societal evolution,
beer was invented. This epochal innovation was both the foundation of
modern civilization and the occasion of the great bifurcation of
humanity into its two distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle or aluminum can had yet been
invented, so it was necessary to stick pretty close to the brewery.
That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days killing animals to barbecue at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of the conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned how to
live off conservatives by showing up for the BBQs every night and doing
women's work like sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the
beginning of the liberal movement. Later, some of the liberals actually
became women.

Liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, invention of
group therapy and democratic voting to see how to divide the beer and
meat that the conservatives provided. Women were not interested in
democracy at that time because most of them were still women back then,
and the conservatives fed them.

Conservatives are symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal
on earth.

Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern Liberals like imported beer (they add lime), but most prefer
white wine or foreign water in a bottle. They eat raw fish but like
their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are on liberal menus.
Their women have more testosterone than the men. Most social workers,
personal injury attorneys, journalists, and group therapists are
Liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule in baseball
because it wasn't "fair" to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat, and still provide
for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
lumber jacks, construction workers, medical doctors, police officers,
corporate executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally anyone who works
productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals do not produce anything. They like to "govern" the producers
and decide what is to be done with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the
liberals just stayed in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

The American cowboy, of course, is your basic, full-bore Conservative. A
hundred years ago, an Englishman visiting Texas was attempting to find
the owner of a huge cattle ranch. He rode up to one of the ranch hands,
and inquired, "Pardon me, but could you perhaps tell me where I might
locate your master?" To which the cowboy replied, "That sumbitch ain't
been born yet."

Source: Anon/Onan

--
Reinhold (Rey) Aman
Quasi-dogmatic Philologist
and
President, The László Löwenstein Fan Club

[don groves]

In article <419553A0.D7569FA0@sonic.net>, Reinhold (Rey) Aman at
aman@sonic.net exposited:

[Maria Conlon]

Reinhold (Rey) Aman wrote:

[Dena Jo]

On 12 Nov 2004, Reinhold (Rey) Aman posted thus:

[CyberCypher]

Dena Jo wrote on 13 Nov 2004:

[Jim Ward]

On Fri, 12 Nov 2004 17:05:44 -0800, don groves <dgroves@domain.net>
wrote:

[Jim Ward]

On Sat, 13 Nov 2004 03:30:01 +0000 (UTC), CyberCypher
<cybercypher@e-garfield.com> wrote:

[Martin Ambuhl]

Jim Ward wrote:

[Mark Barratt]

Reinhold (Rey) Aman wrote:

[Maria Conlon]

Mark Barratt wrote:

[don groves]

In article <2vntedF2ob873U1@uni-berlin.de>, Maria Conlon at
mariaconlon001@hotmail.com exposited:

[Maria Conlon]

don groves wrote:

[don groves]

In article <2vodp8F2mjnfiU1@uni-berlin.de>, Maria Conlon at
mariaconlon001@hotmail.com exposited:

[Maria Conlon]

don groves wrote:

[don groves]

In article <2voeljF2nho57U1@uni-berlin.de>, Maria Conlon at
mariaconlon001@hotmail.com exposited: